(Note to non-Brits: a Christmas cracker is “a decorated paper tube that makes a small exploding sound when you pull it apart. Crackers contain a small gift, a paper hat, and a joke…” — LDOCE)
You may have heard some of these jokes before.
Catherine Tate offered this.
Who’s the bane of Santa’s life?This joke works fine in England, but would fail where you don’t have (a) h dropping in popular speech, (b) th fronting (θ→f) likewise, and lastly (c) widely ridiculed Health and Safety legislation.
— The elf and safety officer.
Jo Brand’s joke takes us back to the topic of my 8th of December blog, mo dœʁ gus ʁam.
A French cat, Un Deux Trois, and an English cat, One Two Three, went for a swimming race round a lake. Who won?
— One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinque.
Meera Syal, who ought to know better, came up with this. As you may know, the expression double entendre looks as if it’s French, and is so pronounced, but actually isn’t. In real French the equivalent would be, boringly, ambiguïté or expression à double sens.
A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre…
So the barman gives her one.